Parents and experts remain divided on how best to protect children online, with views ranging from strict monitoring to open guidance, but most agree that communication and teaching safe habits are essential, JUSTICE OKAMGBA writes
The internet is now a big part of daily life, and kids are growing with it. They use it for schoolwork, entertainment, games, and keeping in touch with friends. It can be a wonderful tool for learning and creativity, but it also comes with dangers.
Parents everywhere ask the same question: how do we keep children safe online? Should we watch everything they do, use filters and parental control apps, or simply trust them to make the right decisions?
Different parents and experts have different answers. Some believe the best approach is to teach children how to use the internet wisely, while others think strict monitoring and intervention are necessary. Many argue that a balance between both is needed.
An IT professional, Jeremiah Hendon, believes the focus should be on teaching rather than blocking. He argued that relying too much on spyware, filters, or strict time limits may send the wrong message.
“You can filter stuff, you can monitor their activity with spyware, you can set limits for online time, or you can proxy all of your traffic through a whitelist service, but all these do is teach your child that you don’t trust them, that you don’t respect their privacy, and how to circumvent security options,” he explained.
Hendon warned that such tools may create a false sense of security for parents, without actually teaching children how to deal with the risks they may face online.
To show what he meant, Hendon described how he taught his daughter to be safe while downloading Minecraft mods: “We sat down, googled the mods she wanted, and went through the major download sites. I showed her which sites were good, some that were bad, and how to tell. I showed her how to check compatibility, where the right download links were, and how to install and uninstall mods.”
By guiding her step by step, he gave her the skills to navigate the internet safely and responsibly, rather than just shielding her from risks.
Quora writer Craig Good compared using the internet to learning how to cross the street. Parents do not stop their children from ever going outside but instead teach them how to do it safely.
“You don’t protect your child from it; you teach them how to use it,” he said. He told his daughter that, just like the real world, there were bad neighbourhoods she could wander into by accident, but online, she could simply press the back button and move away from danger. “Forget apps. Be a parent. Teach your kid. It’s not hard; it’s more fun and a lot cheaper.”
For some parents, however, the issue of privacy cannot be separated from safety.
Stephanie Sterner shared a story of two teenagers, a 16-year-old girl and a 17-year-old boy, who exchanged explicit pictures. When the girl’s parents discovered the photos on her phone, they acted quickly. They contacted the boy’s parents, demanded no further contact, and took her phone to an IT expert to have it cleaned. Both teenagers were sent to therapy. The situation ended without criminal charges, but it could easily have gone much further.
Reflecting on it, Sterner said, “Children are not entitled to privacy online. It is a privilege. Privileges can be taken away.” For her, firm parental action is sometimes the only way to protect children from long-term harm.
Anthony Loprimo pointed out that the issue of privacy online is complicated. Different services have different rules about whether parents can legally access their child’s accounts or messages. But he stressed that the main question is not about technicalities. Instead, parents should aim to find a middle ground that allows children some freedom without leaving them unprotected. He said that parental control tools can be useful, not as harsh restrictions but as gentle guidance.
Filters, for example, can block certain harmful sites while still allowing children to explore others.
“This way, your child could theoretically do whatever they want, as long as it’s not something you don’t want them to do,” he explained. For him, these tools work best when parents are open to discussion and willing to explain why certain rules exist.
Others believe parents must take a stronger stance. Former nurse Joanne Morrison argued that children’s safety should come before their privacy.
“Infringe away! These are vulnerable children. It is a parent’s responsibility to protect them and guide them. Parents need to know who they are talking to and what sites they are browsing,” she said, stressing that dangers such as cyberbullying and online predators are real and can have devastating effects.
In her opinion, children under the age of twelve should not be allowed unsupervised access to the internet or smartphones at all.
“You don’t want to be the parent whose child goes missing or is bullied to the point of wanting to harm themselves, and you are saying, ‘I didn’t know,’” she warned.
For Morrison, invading a child’s privacy is a small price to pay to keep them safe.
A social worker, Judith Dean, suggested a practical combination of parental control apps and open communication. She recommended Qustodio, an app that allows parents to block certain sites, limit screen time, and set restrictions during specific hours of the day. But she also stressed the importance of explaining to children why such controls are in place.
“It’s always good to keep lines of communication open with your children and to explain what parental control apps are and why there is a need for them,” she said.
Dean added that her own daughter reports questionable content to her directly and that the presence of monitoring tools has never stopped their open discussions.
Provided by SyndiGate Media Inc. (Syndigate.info).
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